New Year New Funk
I started off this year in a major funk. That’s the only way I can describe my mood, funky. Being in a funk to me is feeling bleh and not being excited for things despite having things to look forward to. January is a tough month, it’s cold, there aren’t really any holidays and it’s generally gloomy. There is also this weird pressure to have new beginnings and set goals and intentions. I think it’s great to have these things but it is also strangely stressful and makes me feel like I’m not doing enough.
I took a step back and realized that my funk was derived from traveling and inconsistent routines. I arrived back in New York and struggled to get back into my familiar routines that I had kept up with so nicely for the past year. I hadn’t worked out consistently in over 3 weeks, had no food in the fridge and was starting a new project at work with new people. In my life, whenever I have this many new changes, I tend to struggle and spiral. It’s crazy how quickly I spiral and how absolutely ridiculous it can be at times. I go from being perfectly OK to feeling like nothing is in my control and that I’m not doing anything well. It is nice to know that after falling into this pattern for probably the 100th time in my life, I’ve learned how to identify the signs of my spiraling and have learned how to pick myself out of this little journey.
My natural reaction to spiraling is isolating myself and sulking. This can be fun for a couple of days but it usually makes me feel even worse. For the past few days, listening to music, hanging out with my friends and getting back into cooking and working out has helped me so much. The first few weeks of getting a routine started can be so uncomfortable but so rewarding after you can start doing things without really thinking about them. I am slowly feeling a little better and am confident that things will be OK in a few weeks.
Lastly, I want to reflect on why this new year has felt a little different from other new years. There is something about turning 25 this year that makes me want to have an existential crisis of sorts. I have been loving the routines I’ve been in for the past few years but it leaves me wondering if I want to change these routines up and try new things. I have goals and intentions I have for the year but they feel more confusing than usual. I am confident that it will all work out but it is a bit unnerving right now. 2023 feels like a year of change and change is always a tad bit scary.
If you are also feeling a little funky right now, I’m here to tell you that it’s OK and it almost feels like the norm. I am feeling so much butter and think there are a lot of good things to come in the future ❤